The Guy who came to see my Sister (In Telugu)

Sister gets ready for a traditional Telugu style pelli choopulu. Everything is normal for about ten minutes. In my family, nothing stays normal for more than ten minutes.This scene contains my parents, my maternal grandfather and my paternal aunt (menattha). Conversation is going on for sometime….

Amma: “Vaadamma Vaasu ani cheppaanu kada neeku. Naaku Krishna College lo classmate.”

Chelli: “ Vaadena panimanishi tho vellipoyaadu?

Amma : “Vaadu kaadu ehe. Adhi vaadi annaya Raju.”

Chelli: “Yevado okadu panimanishi intlo deepam pettaadu kada.”

Grandpa “ Asalu monna nenu Discovery channel lo Bastar jungles lo adivasi tegala gurinchi oka documentary chusaanu. Vaallu asalu inumu ni vaari konda panimutla tho elachestharante….”

Dad walks in to announce that the groom’s family has arrived.

Naanna: Vaallu chaala maryadasthulu. Mana laaga Dakota family kaadu. Abbayini thikka prasnalu veyoddu. Vaallaki manam nachchaali ante andaram SlumDog Millionaire range lo acting cheyyaali.”

Amma: “Ante mee ardham memu andaram tegala thine batch ani anumanisthunnara?”

Naanna: “Anumaanam kaadu idhi confirmed. Mee andari pichchi chusthe pelli vaaru paaripothaaru..”

Grandpa: “Bastar lo aadivaasila gurinchi chepthe yevaru vinarenti asalu. Naa maata ante lekka ledaa? (anxiously seeks attention)

Chelli: “ Bastar ante Kashmora story lo vasthundi. Ade kada mummy?”

Amma “Adhi Bastar kaadu ra. Adi Bistha gramam. Dantlo Kaadra Vuntaadu.”

Chelli: “Vaadevadu. Village Sarpanch aa?”

Amma: “ Nee nethi. Nidramoham daana. Vaadu kshudra mantrikudu.”

Chelli: “Magician aa? Ante hat lonchi rabbit teestaada?”

Amma: “ Kaadu nee body lonchi blood teestadu. Vaadi comedy magician kaadu. Serious villain type.”

Grandpa: Nenu Munchingput lo pani chesetappudu akkada ilanti kshudramantrikulanu chala mandini chusaanu. Asalu vaallu…….”

Nenu: Vaddu taata. Nee tribal stories tarvaatha kaalakshepamga vindaam . Ippudu vaddhu. Pellivaaru vachchaaru kada.

Nanna (With mom): “ Tactful tackle chesi abbayi jeetham gatta adagandi. Mari direct ga ilanti vishayaalu adagakudadhu.

Amma: “You don’t worry. CBI, ISI range lo nenu information laaguthaanu kada abbayi nunchi”

Naanna: Antha akkaraledu. Police constable range lo maatladu chaalu.”

We walk out. Sister is still inside. The rest of us come out to greet the guests. Two minutes into the conversation

Amma: (Looking at the groom) “ Jeetham yentha. Chethiki yentha vasthundi. Cutting lu ponu anamaata.”

Naanna #Megafacepalm

Grandpa: Bank udyogam anta kada babu. Yem bank lo panichesthunnaav?”

Abbayi: Al-Amana Bank.. Al-Amana andi.. Saudi Arabia bank andi.

Amma: (whispers) : Amma neeyamma Bank laaga adem peru ra.. Idedo Kola Krishna Mohan type bank la vundi ra Kiranu.

Grandpa:” Al- Amana Bank aa? Idedo Othoothi bank la vundi manavadaa”

Atthaya (whispers into my ear) : “Abbai Aamani bank lo pani chesthaada?. Aamani ante Subhalagnam heroine kada. Daaniki bank yekkadidhi. SV Krishna Reddy antha remuneration icchchaada?”

Nenu: “Amani kada atthaya. Amana. Al-Amana.”( gestures her to be silent)

Amma: “Ponile Saudi bank kada. Ye Dubai lono Muscat lo vuntaadu. Yenchakka shopping ki vellochchu. Anthe kada abbayi” (looks hopefully at the guy)

Abbayi: “Right now African Union joint venture tho nenu work chesthunnanu.”

Atthaya: “Abbayi Africa lo panichesthunnaada? Mee Mamayya kuda foreign returned andi. Andamans lo work chese vaaru” (smiles proudly)

Nenu: “Andamans foreign kaadu Atthaya. Mana Desame.”

Atthaya: “Adentra Padavekki vellevaaru. Ante paraayi desame kada. Nuvvu naaku Zoology  nerpaku. Asalu Atlas geesinde nenu. Muyyi inka.”

Grandpa: “Ala ante nenu 6 months Rangam lo panichesaanu.”

Abbayi (trying to initiate conversation): “Rangam movie lo na taatayyagaaru?”

Grandpa: “Nee bondha. Nuvvekkada Telugu vaadivi ayyaa. Rangam thelidaa.? Rangoon. Burma desam.. Adantha sare. Inthaki Africa lo yekkada baabu. Johannesburg aa?”

Abbayi: “Mombasa”

Atthaya: “Idigo.. Ishtam lekapothe cheppodu gaani ila Africa bhasha lo thittaku ayyo..! bagodu mari.” ( gets slightly miffed)

Nenu: “Atthaya. Adhi thittu kaadu. City peru. Tanzania desam lo vundi”

Grandpa : “Tarzan desama? Ante cheddilu vesukuni tiruguthaara? Idedo soukaryamaina desam laa vundi.”

Amma( mumbles to me):  “Musalodiki kukka buddhi poledu. Tarzania yenti ra. Ee desam peru neneppudu vinaledu. Abbayi gaani sodi chepthunnaada? “

Nenu: “Vundi le amma Desam. Naaku thelusu. East Coast of Africa. Formed by the union of Tanganyika and Zanzibar. It is there amma.”

Amma: “Nenu nammanu. Nuvvvu Google open cheyi. Alanti Desam ledani itte cheppesthundi google.  Ehe. Ninnu nammanu nenu. Nenu iddarine nammuthaanu. Okati nannu Rendu Google. Open cheyyovoi. Chettulu padipoyelaaga rojanta mobile lo tikku tikku antu kottukuntu vuntaavu kada . Ippudemayindi soorathvam. Prove it I say..!! Asale nenu IST ni..”

Nenu :“IST kaade neeyamma. ISI …” “Yedo okati . Yedaithe yenti aakhariki pelthaanu kada violent ga.” “Adhi RDX amma..” “Avna.. Anduke nenu IST lanti daanni ante office lo andaru navvuthunnaru.. Maa Panigrahi kuda cheppaledu yeppudu. Aagu phone chesi danchaali vaadini.”

I show it to her on Google.

“Okok . Tarzania. Adhe adhe Tanzania desam vundi abbayi. So Only Africa aa? Inkem desaalu tiragaledaa abbai?

Abbayi : “Bulgaria lo oka one year pani chesanu aunty.”

Atthaya.. “Ee desam kuda mee mammaya vellaaru ra. Naaku baaga gurthu. Ledu ra. Nidadavolu Kota Sattemma meeda vottu. Appudu memu Rajahmundry Durga Talkies daggara vunde vaallam. Mee mammaya chala clear ga cheppaaru. Osei Sarojini . Nenu Bulgaria vellosthaanu. Talupulu vesuko.”

Nenu: “Big Bazaar ku vellosthaanu ani vuntaaru atthaya.”

Atthaya :“Yemo ra. Sanchi maatram pattikellaaru mari.”

Nenu (with mom) “Eevida Sound Engineering complete chesi yennaallu ayyindi.”

Abbayi #Bittharachoopu

Amma: “Bulgaria ane desam ledu ra Kiranu. I am very sure of it. Google work avvadu gaani Wikipedia open cheyyi eesari. Adi more trustable.”

Nenu:“Amma! Bulgaria vundi .Rajadhani Sofia. Danube nadi meeda vundi. It’s a Central European country.

Amma : “Nenu nammanu. Naaku Wikipedia lo chupinchu. Aadevado geddam vedhava adigaadu ani poyina yedaadi padi dollars daanam chesaav kada Wikipedia ki. Paisa vasool cheyyi.”

I show it to her. “Ok.. Kotha desama? Poyina yedaadi ledu kada. ?”

Nenu “Amma. 18th century nunchi vundi amma.” Amma:“ Nenu current events follow avvanu Kiranu”

Grandpa ( to the guy) “Nuvvu TV chusthaava? Discovery channel lo poyina vaaram bastar lo inumu gurinchi documentary vachchindi chusaava?”

Atthaya: “Inthaki ippudu yekkada working babu?”

Abbayi : “Bangalore andi.”

Atthaya :“Parledu mana state lo ne vunnaadu. Aha.. Ala kaadu naayana. Bangalore ante mana state lantide kada. Andaru Telugu vaalle. Antha Andhra Mess kada. Next plans yenti baabu?”

Abbayi: Nenu next foreign trip meeda Zambia velthunnanu andi next month.” She gives me a look. I nod saying that there is such a country.

Amma: “Daani tarvaatha Somalia naa? Paddathi aina desaalu pampincharaa?”

Abbayi:“Ala kaadu andi. Nene challenging ga vuntundi ani ilanti assignments aduguthunnanu.”

Grandpa: “Ante neeku ichchi pelli chesthe maa manavaraalu karuvu peedithe praanthalalo brathakaaala? AikyaRajya Samithi vaallu aaharapotlaalu helicopter lo lonchi visuruthuntaaru. Aa desamenaa Zambia ante?”

Amma: “Kaadu naanna. Adhi Cambodia.”

Atthaya: “Kaadu ra. Adhi Uganda.”

Naanna: “Ledu ra Eritrea anukuntanu.”

Amma: “ Maatladaventi baabu. Meminthe. Andaram kalisipoyi hadaavidi ga gola gola ga vuntaam.”

Pelli koduku paraar!!!

More such funny stories from the life of the author shall be posted!

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About Kiran Kumar Karlapu

The Prince of the Monsoons. Dreams in English but swears in Telugu. High strung, hyperactive and generally distracted. Fights crime and tweets about them when not forced to attend a Sarkaari Daftar.
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16 Responses to The Guy who came to see my Sister (In Telugu)

  1. Suresh says:

    Ha ha…I felt like its happening in front of me….love to meet your granpa someday…:D

  2. Chandra Kommineni says:

    its totally funny … Is it real conversation ?
    I thought of its part of some of ” Jandyla’s ” movie conversation … he he he
    Hats off to all the family members 🙂
    Paapam Pelli koduku 😦

  3. KVS Prakash says:

    Haha good one, a bit of it was posted on twitter on that day i remember. Hilarious!!

  4. Arunn Bhagavatula says:

    This can go straight into any Telugu movie:)

  5. manasa says:

    eedhi chaduvuthu nenu navuthunte…. maa bamma naanu verri danila chusthundhi……but superb one…

  6. Aparajitha says:

    Wow kiran. Cant tell u how much fun i had! Keep posting more.

    Btw, nee role charecterization matram decent ga chesukuni migatavalani comedy chesatava. ikkada justice yedi?

  7. suresh says:

    Grandpa charector keka…..

  8. Dr.D.Gandhi says:

    baboi..aa pellikoduku paristiti emito..talachukunte jaali vestondi..

  9. Bharath K Bolla says:

    Kiran chaala rojula tharvatha 15 mins continuous ga navvanu. keep up the good work

  10. vadhris says:

    kiran garu, nenu satyameva jayate blog lo ichina reference (customs story) tho vacha mee blog ki. chala adbhutam ga rasaru. KPN, telugu lo LOL, ade kadupubba navvukunna. naku jandhyala gari cinemalu ante chala ishtam, edo ayana cinema chustu navvukuntunnattu anipinchindi.

  11. majorsrith says:

    Nee yamma yen rasavayya

  12. shamanth jilla says:

    Very enjoyable. Have you tried writing plays or short movies? Excellent work.

  13. Sahithi Ramam says:

    Hilarious post, kudos! Not sure how much of the conversation is made up, since u come off as uber smart (:P), but entertaining all the same. Brings to mind a lot of “Jandhyala” characters! 🙂

  14. visu says:

    online posts ki navvadam chala arudu nenu….
    Navvincharu bhayya …..kummesaaru

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