Should Students be Allowed to Cheat in Exams?

“Why aren’t you helping the kids?”

“What??? Are you mad? I am invigilating this exam. I have been walking across this big fat classroom for the last three hours.?

“Why? Werent there any chairs?”

“Stop being stupid.”

“My original question. Why aren’t you helping the kids in the exams.? History must be tough for tenth grade, with all the excitement over Katrina Kaif and IPL. When can they concentrate and actually study? Must be hard. Don’t make it harder for them.”

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“No. Kiran. I am teaching them an important lesson in lifetoday.”

“They are all going to fail. You are teaching them lessons on exam day. You are a disgrace to your profession. Disgrace I say!”

“No you idiot. Its about life.”

“Seems complicated. Whats the lesson?

“Things come to people who work hard for them.”

“Come to people? Like Magneto? You extend your hand and break the Golden Gate bridge?”

“Not a movie. Be serious Kiran. I mean hardwork is the key to success. You cant take shortcuts in life.”

“Ever tried negotiating Hyderabad roads? You need shortcuts all the time.”

“No. You idiot. Kiran!!! Please don’t irritate me. Im tired of invigilating these brats. I just reprimanded a kid for trying to cheat.”

What was he doing?”

“He was trying to ask the kid behind him for answers. I scolded him. But since I am a nice person, I didn’t snatch away his answer sheet.”

“You are evil. You should have been helping them.”

“Kiran. I did tell you earlier that…”

“I know. I know. You wanted to teach them a lesson. But you helping them in the exam teaches them a much more important lesson in life which is actually more relevant to the world outside schools and helps them make the transition to real life much more easily.”

“What bullshit. What lesson do I teach my kids if I help them out and let them cheat in the exams?”

“The lesson is that If you know the correct people, you can get away with anything.”

“What? What sort of rubbish are you talking.? You are mad. Totally mad.”

“I am not mad. Look around. Politicians. Officers. Cops. Employees. Everybody follows only that rule. If you know people in high places, you can get away with anything. Isnt that right?

“Don’t confuse me Kiran. Kids shouldn’t cheat in exams. That’s all I know”

And grown ups should do scams and indulge in corruption. Right?”

“Right”

“But they do so anyway. Why do they so? Because they know people in high places and they can get away with it. So I seriously suggest that you teach the children the truths of life now”

“Truths of Life? You mean the bees and birds story? I am NOT going to teach my kids about sex on exam day.”

“What a simpleton you are. I pity you. Im sure the internet has taught them stuff much better than we all can.  They could teach us. Anyway I meant the truths about how the world really works. You owe it to them.”

“I am not going to…”

“Listen now madam. I shall complain to the school administration that you are impeding the growth curve of these young impressionable kids and as a result they shall become maladjusted and unable to compete effectively in the ever changing global world, and consequently they could turn to a life of crime or overeating, whichever seems more convenient to them and it shall all be on your conscience. Remember. All on your conscience.”

“Yeah right. Go ahead. Call my principal and tell her this. She will ask you to jump off the Sea Link.”

“Ouch. I thought these missionary school nuns are the epitome of goodness and cheer.”

“You are mistaken. My principal is the devil incarnate. Oh. You think I committed some sin by calling a nun the devil?”

“How does it even matter? You are anyway going to hell.”

“That’s also true.”

“How about I tell her that you are teaching abuses and encouraging them to swear? How about a prankcall to that effect?”

“I am going to kill you.!!!”

“So now go and help those kids in the exam. They need to pass. You should be the bigger person here and give those kids some direction in their lives.”

“Kiran!!! I am not going to help kids cheat in their exams.”

“Your choice. But don’t blame me if you get murdered by one of your students after fifteen years for not teaching him the Truth about Life.”

“Please man. My head is already aching. I am going to hang up now. Please.”

“Sure. But you know that I am right. I am always right”

*phone disconnects*

 

 

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About Kiran Kumar Karlapu

The Prince of the Monsoons. Dreams in English but swears in Telugu. High strung, hyperactive and generally distracted. Fights crime and tweets about them when not forced to attend a Sarkaari Daftar.
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3 Responses to Should Students be Allowed to Cheat in Exams?

  1. whom were you arguing with in this?

  2. mahabore says:

    This was a nice, hilarious, satirical post, but am just wondering who you were talking to on the phone, who was the other person ?

  3. Rambler says:

    True post – I wish my teachers had trained me better. Now I am always plotting how to get back at them – in a devious way !!

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